Text Us: 619-442-0389

5 Ways to Support Your Pregnant Daughter

August 28, 2024

Share this Article:

A mother and daughter are sitting on a couch looking at a pregnancy test.

As parents, you naturally want the best for your daughter. Maybe you've changed careers or made other sacrifices in order to meet her needs. Perhaps you've saved up for decades so she could attend college or university. Then, one day, she tells you that she's pregnant. The news feels like a bombshell because it is. Her life will never be the same no matter what she decides to do about the pregnancy.

Your Daughter Told You She's Pregnant, Now What?

It's OK to experience a myriad of emotions upon hearing that your daughter is pregnant. However, sharing everything you feel with your daughter is not OK. Dealing with an unplanned pregnancy is scary even when you have the support of the people you love. Your daughter needs your care more than ever and the following five ways to show support will help you meet her needs as she deals with new challenges.

Show Support in These 5 Ways

Active Listening

If you're the type of person who likes to plan and organize, you may be tempted to start planning out the next nine months and beyond. However, making plans right after your daughter announces her pregnancy isn't a good idea. Rather, take the time to listen to what she says about her feelings and wishes. Make sure she knows you'll love her no matter what she has to say.

Seek Education Together

You've been pregnant before, but that doesn't mean your situation and circumstances were the same as your daughters. You'll likely need to learn new things together with her in order to help her through her pregnancy and beyond. For instance, if your pregnant daughter is a university student, you'll want to find out what her "rights" are to ensure her university is making the required accommodations. If your daughter has limited income, research Medicaid, CHIP, and other forms of aid so she won't have to worry about the financial cost of needed healthcare.

Foster Open Communication

Make it easy for your daughter to talk with you whenever she feels the need. When she has something to say, give her your full attention. If you feel that she's having a hard time getting something off her chest, assure her that you'll love her no matter what she tells you. Another good way to foster open communication is to share your own experiences as a pregnant mom. Knowing that you've felt the same emotions she's feeling now will reassure her that you don't look down on her for having mood swings, feeling fatigued, or having odd cravings.

Two women are sitting on a couch holding hands and talking to each other.

Set Up Proper Prenatal Care

Women experiencing pregnancy symptoms should seek medical help even if they've already taken a pregnancy test with positive results. Pregnancy Care Clinic offers free ultrasounds to help women determine the gestational age of the fetus and calculate the due date. Furthermore, an ultrasound can enable a woman to see if the fetus is viable. About 15% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage [1] and there is no point in deciding between abortion, adoption, or keeping the baby if the baby doesn't have a future.

Another important aspect of medical care is STI (STD) testing. The CDC recommends testing on the first prenatal visit as an untreated STI can cause serious problems such as poor fetal growth, preterm labor, stillbirth, and infertility. [2] The good news is that STIs can be treated with prescription antibiotics without causing harm to the mother or the fetus.

If your daughter decides to keep the baby or put the baby up for adoption, she'll need to be prepared for giving birth. Help her sign up for childbirth classes and be sure to attend the classes yourself to help her through labor and childbirth.

Plan for the Future

Once you've helped your daughter address her most pressing needs, it's time to talk about the future. The first big decision she'll face is deciding if she wants to keep the baby, put the baby up for adoption, or have an abortion. Encourage her to seek help from unbiased, trained advocates so she can make the decision that's in her best interests. Help her make long-term plans to support her decision and make sure your long-term plans accommodate her needs so you can offer the emotional support and care she'll need.

Unconditional Love

Every pregnant woman needs unconditional love and support. Make sure your daughter knows you'll love her even if you don't agree with her decisions. This builds a positive long-term relationship that will serve you all well no matter what she decides.

What Not To Do

A mother and daughter are sitting on a couch with their backs to each other.

Judge/Shame

Don't judge or shame your daughter over the way in which the unplanned pregnancy came about. Perhaps she did have unprotected sex. Maybe she got into a relationship with Mr. Wrong. Judging and shaming won't help her make smart decisions right now. What's more, they'll damage your relationship, leading her to refuse your good advice and offers of help and assistance.

Try to take Control

If your daughter is a legal adult, then managing her life is her responsibility, not yours. Share your opinions and good advice, but let her decide what she wants to do. She should feel free to pick her doctor, hospital, baby clothes and accessories, future study/work plans, and more without worrying that you'll try to force her to take a particular course of action or disapprove of her decisions.

Bottle Up Emotions

Your pregnant daughter isn't the only one going through emotional turmoil. You're likely experiencing a range of emotions too. Find someone you can share your feelings with, be it a friend, relative, counselor, or pastor. Keeping your feelings bottled up will deplete your emotional reserves. It will also increase the likelihood of you getting angry or frustrated with your daughter.

Pregnancy Care Clinic offers the medical care and support your daughter needs to navigate her pregnancy. Feel free to make an appointment or simply walk in at your convenience. Our team has the tools and training needed to meet your needs and provide the support and care your daughter deserves.

< Older Post Newer Post >