An unexpected pregnancy wasn’t part of your plans, but here you are. You’re looking at a positive pregnancy test, and a million questions enter your mind. “How did this happen,” “What am I going to do,” and “How am I going to tell my partner?
The thought of telling your partner you’re pregnant can cause you to feel anxious. Depending on your relationship, you might even fear his reaction ranging from shock to disappointment to anger. Or maybe you’re afraid he’ll be happy, and you aren’t ready to be a parent for the first time.
We have compiled tips to help you tell your partner you’re unexpectedly pregnant.
Tips For Telling Your Partner You’re Unexpectedly Pregnant
You aren’t alone. Almost half of all pregnancies in the U.S. are unexpected, according to the Centers for Disease Control . That means nearly three million other women every year are also telling their partner they’re unexpectedly pregnant.
Here are some suggestions to make it less overwhelming:
Share the News in Person If Possible
It’s almost always best to share big news face to face. The only time not to is if you feel it isn’t safe. We have all had instances of miscommunication through text or email. When you are face to face, it is easier to accurately communicate because you can see one another’s facial expressions, tone, and body language.
Choose an appropriate setting and make sure you have plenty of time to talk. This is not the discussion to start when you are in a time crunch. Tell your partner in a place where you can have privacy. If you fear your partner’s reaction or your safety, tell him in a public place or bring a support person with you. You can even talk with him through a face-to-face app in this situation.
Don’t start your conversation with, “I have bad news,” but in a healthy relationship, it’s essential to share your honest feelings.
Remember, you didn’t get pregnant by yourself, so you don’t need to accept blame or burden yourself with sugar-coating how you feel in an attempt to manage his response.
Give Space for His Response
Allow your partner the space to feel what he feels when you tell him you’re pregnant. Recall your first reaction and think about how hard it must be for him to have his first reaction in front of you.
Men will often respond with a complicated mix of shock, anger, denial, fear, and happiness. He might even ask for your due date or how far along you are. Regardless of your partner’s initial reaction, you always deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. Hopefully, your partner will respond in a mature and supportive way.
Discuss the Future
After your partner has had time to react to the news, talk to them about your plans for the future. This conversation may include discussions about where you’ll live, how you’ll support the baby, and who will take care of the child. This is also an excellent time to discuss the changes and challenges that will come with parenthood.
Consider the Practicalities
As a couple, you’ll need to make practical decisions about your pregnancy, such as choosing a doctor, scheduling appointments, and making preparations for the baby. Consider discussing these practicalities with your partner and involving them in the planning process.
Address Any Concerns
Your partner may have concerns about the pregnancy, such as health risks, financial worries, or how to balance work and family life. Acknowledge their concerns and work together to find solutions to any challenges that may arise.
How Do Men React To Unplanned Pregnancies?
Unplanned pregnancies can be a daunting experience for anyone, regardless of gender. But for men, the news of an unexpected pregnancy can elicit a range of emotions and reactions, depending on the circumstances and the individual’s personality. Some men may initially feel shocked or overwhelmed, especially if they were not actively trying to conceive. They may worry about the financial and practical implications of having a child, as well as the impact it will have on their personal lives and relationships. Others may feel excited and hopeful, seeing the unplanned pregnancy as a blessing and an opportunity to start a family. They may embrace the idea of becoming a father and be eager to support their partner through the pregnancy and beyond.
However, there are also men who may feel fearful or even resentful of the situation. They may be struggling with personal or relationship issues that make the idea of a pregnancy feel like a burden or a threat to their goals and aspirations. Regardless of their initial reaction, it’s important for men to communicate openly and honestly with their partners about their feelings and concerns. This can help both parties navigate the challenges and uncertainties of an unplanned pregnancy and make informed decisions about the future. It’s also essential for men to take an active role in supporting their partner’s physical and emotional well-being throughout the pregnancy.
Support for Your Unexpected Pregnancy
When you’re unexpectedly pregnant, you have three options to consider: parenting, adoption, and abortion. It’s a big decision that impacts you for a lifetime – regardless of which option you choose. The good news is there are experienced advocates available to help you make a confident decision that is best for you.
At Pregnancy Care Center, we walk with you each step of the way. Our licensed medical professional and trained advocates will answer all of your questions. We can help you talk with your partner about your unintended pregnancy and provide confidential, unbiased information to empower you. Contact us today for an appointment!
 William D. Mosher, Ph.D.; Jo Jones, Ph.D.; and Joyce C. Abma, Ph.D., (2012, July 24). Intended and Unintended Births in the United States: 1982-2010. Retrieved November 24 from https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nhsr/nhsr055.pdf