An unplanned pregnancy is stressful enough, but then you have to tell your parents. Regardless of how you think they will react; it is still an anxiety inducing situation. However, there are some things you can do to make it a little easier.
Here’s how to tell your parents that you’re pregnant.
Take Some Time to Process
Before you can talk to your parents about your unplanned pregnancy or even make a plan, you need to process the situation. Examine your own feelings about the pregnancy. What do you want? What do you need? How can the people in your life support you? This will help you prepare for telling your parents and for whatever happens after that. Try talking to someone if that will help. A close friend, a teacher, your pastor – these people can help you make wise choices about how you approach the conversation with your parents.
Before you go in to face them, take a few deep, cleansing breaths. Try your best to relax as much as possible and no matter what happens, try to remain as calm as possible. Your calm demeanor will help to set the tone for the conversation. If you are calm, your parents are more likely to be relatively calm as well. It doesn’t always go that way, but even if they get upset your calmness is good for you and your baby .
Have a Plan
Often, one of the first things parents will ask when they find out their child is pregnant is “what are you going to do?” You can show them that you have given the situation some thought if you have some kind of plan. If you intend on keeping the baby, show them where you have calculated the expenses involved in raising a child, worked out an agreement with the father, found a job, or other steps to show you want to be responsible. They may be more apt to discuss your situation with you calmly and rationally. Pregnancy Care Clinic can help you formulate your plan, and equip you with information you will need to answer your parent’s questions.
If you are on good terms with the baby’s father, bring him along for moral support. If you are planning to work together to manage the situation, talking to your parents together is a good start. If you are not on good terms with the baby’s father, ask a close friend, your pastor, or someone else who is close to you to be your support when you have the talk.
Reach Out to Your Parents
You can reach out to your parents via electronic format when you are setting up the meeting to tell them, but when you do tell them that is a conversation that is usually best done face to face. It might be tempting to send an email or text because then you don’t have to be in front of them, but that is not an ideal way to communicate about such an important situation. It is best done in person.
Allow Them to React
When hit with upsetting or startling news, some people react immediately while others take a while. Some will get very emotional while others will not be emotional at all. Be prepared for any response, but allow them to have that response. Give them space if necessary. They likely feel a little blindsided and have a lot of thoughts going on in their heads. Give them time to process and react . If things get too heated or if you feel you are not in a safe place, calmly remove yourself, but let them know you want to talk about it more later – then follow through.
Be Respectful but Establish Boundaries
Respect is important. Scripture says that we are to honor our father and mother – it’s the fifth commandment. However, that does not mean that you have to endure abuse or ill-treatment. You can respectfully but firmly establish clear boundaries so you and your parents can discuss the next steps. How you not only act but react is very important. Try saying something like, “I need time to decide what I am going to do, but I wanted you to know. Hopefully, you can help me. I really need your support in this.”
You are Not Alone
There are many young women who have walked this road before you. There are many teens who have had unplanned pregnancies and even kept the baby while finishing school, going to college, and having a successful career. You can still live your life and your dreams are still within reach. You may have to make a few adjustments to how you get there, but you can still make it. You are not alone.
Confirm Your Pregnancy
Before you talk to your parents you should get your pregnancy confirmed by a doctor or at Pregnancy Care Clinic. A doctor can give you a good idea of when you got pregnant, how far along you are, and when your due date is. They can answer any questions you may have as well as help you get started on vitamins and regular prenatal care to ensure your health, a healthy pregnancy, and a healthy baby.
Pregnancy Care Clinic
Pregnancy Care Clinic is a licensed medical clinic that specializes in unplanned pregnancies. We offer a number of resources to pregnant teens and adults, including advocacy, pregnancy tests, information, and more. We have a licensed nurse on staff and ultrasound exams. At Pregnancy Care Clinic, we will make sure that you don’t go through this alone.
Remember, your parent’s job is to make sure you are healthy and safe. They may need some time to process the situation and organize their thoughts, but that does not mean you are abandoned. And even if some people in your life pull back, you do have people who will stand by your side. We offer peer counseling and emotional support to help you get through this.
You’re going to be OK.
- (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.healthywa.wa.gov.au/Articles/A_E/Emotional-health-for-parents-during-pregnancy-and-after-the-birth
- Fletcher, J. (2021, September 30). How to Tell Your Parents You’re Pregnant (as a Teenager). Retrieved from https://psychcentral.com/health/teenage-pregnancy-tips-for-telling-your-parents#how